Discussion in 'Nonsense Anything Boards' started by nunyabizness1, Sep 14, 2010.
and any post by 5t3v3 "BAD DOG" r055
I dont no how to link it onto here or remember the name But some jack ass bet me a $100 bucks I wasn't real then I show up and the chicken shit didn't have the balls to pay up and went on wit his little joke after bunch of you guys got pictures of me and him
I loved the letters that Cuda's dogs use to write when they got in trouble. Those were classic.
This will take you an hour.
kurt.... i have a new hero thank you sir......here we go simon
I miss Corn Dog..
SNEEKEE, where the hell have you been?
Sounds like a bet with SUA, if I remember right.
Hummerdude Chronicles by JScrib...
Done with the other one yet?
it ended up getting pulled, not sure if the mods can bring it from the dead, but "when fishnsoldier came out of the closet" was pretty good. the saluki fish washing had me rolling again!!!
haahaha tuna jihadists.
Bad Dog Ross just had his pic in WON holding up a blue marlin of all things...
This one has to be top three at least:
This is one of the funniest stories I have ever read on BD.
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass long bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows
in anything that could get stuck by an arrow.
Did you know that a 1955 40horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds
before it goes down?
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was,
I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw
gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the
Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't
any fire danger.
I'll put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you
had yourself a well.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten
oak stump in our backyard.
I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of
starting fluid (ether).
The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I
thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing
let's face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really
doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of dads
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can
of black powder.
My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it
all sorta dumped out on me.
No biggie... 1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda
like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.
Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow.
I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly.
As I released I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow.
In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the
truck... OH CRAP he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10
minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.
My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his
eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom.
Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.
Oh. Hell. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.
I don't know if it was the actual compression wa ve that threw me back or
just reflex jerk back from 235 MF'n decibels of sound.
I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial
explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all
hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see.
It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE DAMN DAYLIGHT
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was".
That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground blown
completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad
is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a
Vietnam flashback ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!!
CEASE FIRE GOLL DAMIT
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway.
All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a
slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard.
There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and
the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.
I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear.
I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either...
not that it would really matter.
I don't remember much from this point on.
I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later.
I felt a sharp pain, blacked out,
woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the
I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me
Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.
Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did
anything about it.
I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his
muzzleloaders a week or so later.
And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the
blast or the beating. Or both.
I guess what I'm trying to is, get your kids into archery.
Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
Old McHummerdude. Still keep this picture of him in his McHummer heading to the club.
I need to take the Hummer out for some new adventures in the neighbor. A lot of new dogs and cats around leaving some epic terrain.
Of course, that's what attention whores do. Didn't you see the Mexican TV sport's bitch whining about guys checking out her ass?And she's dressed like a trick.
Kevin, you spelled "Gawsh Tample" incorrectly, but I liked the one where he wrote "this is my last post on BD", and then came back, three times, to write more nice stuff.
Separate names with a comma.