The Affordable Boat Act

Saluki

.
May 10, 2003
9,479
213
HB
Name
Mika Tan
Boat
"MoorZilla"
The U.S. government has just passed and President Soetoro has signed into law “The Affordable Boat Act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These “affordable” boats will cost an average of $54,000 – $155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs. This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This law ensures that every American can now have a “affordable” boat of his own, because everyone is entitled to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 “free” life jackets (not including monthly usage fees). To ensure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined, and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat. Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, inexperience, or lack of knowledge and/or desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat once approved by appropriate authorities. A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between the port, starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide everything, including when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat, and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use his boat. They will also decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass), or a newer and more expensive boat. Those who can afford yachts will be required to do so…it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment. Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations are also exempt.
 
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gonzo25

GOT A BIG ONE
Nov 20, 2008
3,559
1,962
san diego calif. usa
Name
george
Boat
18' Invader CC 15' bayliner son of a beach
Like with everything else the government does, this makes perfect sense to me.
 
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MYNomad

Heading South
Dec 12, 2007
4,099
4,614
Pacific Northwest / West Coast Mexico
Name
Rick
Boat
Yes
If the boat breaks, can I continue to have my mechanic fix it, or might I get stuck with some mechanic I don't know? Will this really save me money? Seems like with everyone buying a boat, there won't be enough boats to go around, so price are bound to go up, and quality is bound to go down, isn't it? Now I know some people already have boats that work perfectly for what they do. My dock neighbor doesn't like leaving the harbor as he gets sea sick. Is he going to have to buy a sea-worthy boat, even if he doesn't go to sea? Hopefully, there be a website to help me to buy my boat. That part, at least, should go smoothly since the government has plenty of money to spend and the technology has already been perfected by the private sector. Hopefully, it won't get run by someone with no experience in those matters, and the contractor won't be selected based on political contributions or school connections. Yep, really good thing that the government is addressing our needs. Ironic though that, in the free market, people who live a long way from water have the option to rent a boat if they want. But, I guess economies of scale dictate that everyone must buy one.
 
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carcass

Member
Apr 25, 2009
759
327
Cedar City Utah
Name
scott
Boat
None
EO on the ABA:

Every low-income person will have the option of selecting a boat currently owned by the rich(AKA Middle Class) and posses it as their own. The "rich" will fully subsidize the boat for the low income owner by continuing to make the payments of the boat he/she formerly owned and graciously awarded their boat. The "rich" will still be required to purchase a new boat. The "rich" will also have to subsidize the insurance and costs associated with their donated boat to ensure fair an equitable use by those of low income means.

The "rich" will also subsidize the carbon tax payments on both boats as well as any visa's/FMM's required to fish an oppressed nations waters.
 
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drumford

gotta go babe!
Sep 20, 2010
2,468
564
C.M. CA
Name
Dondo
Boat
Cory's Rig
B.O.A.T. Bust Out Another Thousand!!!!!
OR.....
Bust Out Ammendments.... Thanx!!!:finger::hali_olutta::2gunsfiring_v1:
 
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OILAGER

Hecho en Estados Unidos
Apr 27, 2006
2,339
928
M Class Planet / Riverside
Name
Wayne
Boat
Grady White 228 Seafarer "GOTTA GET'M"
Is it true that if there isn't enough young people buying new boats there may not be enough money in the program to subsidize my new boat?
 
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26grumpy

who hooked who
Sep 24, 2006
9,335
3,703
Anaheim Hills
Name
Joe
Boat
Freefrom Boats Club
There is no way to verify my order for my free boat is complete. I tried calling a navigator but all I heard at the other end was a long explaination and laughter....

<IFRAME height=315 src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zhftbKdYFi0" frameBorder=0 width=420 allowfullscreen></IFRAME>
 
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