Some Words About Depression

Discussion in 'Washington Fishing Reports' started by WaveDancer, Dec 10, 2017.

  1. WaveDancer

    WaveDancer Fishing The Pacific Ocean & Puget Sound Since 1969

    Location:
    Kitsap/Westport, WA
    Name:
    Ken
    Boat:
    Prowling for a Cat
    • Messages:
      (2,265)
    • Likes Received:
      (828)
    I had to attend the funeral yesterday for a VERY good friend of mine that I have known since Jr High. He was in his mid 50's.

    He was an outstanding man in every way I could ever describe, family, father, friend, etc. but it turns out he was suffering from depression enough that he needed to use antidepressant medications.

    No one knew about this except his wife and I get that, but now I have to wonder why it is such a commonly accepted decision to keep things so quiet. The meds themselves cause SEVERE mood swings if people stop taking them abruptly or screw up on the correct timing of taking them.

    Maybe someone else reading this thread may make a better decision when somebody they know is on these kinds of meds as to maybe let somebody else in the circle of the closest family or friends know about the depression issue. This can be a life saving decision.

    If I had known about this issue before hand I would have made a much better point of actually talking to him on the phone on a regular basis and not just accept the pretty frequent text exchanges we had that have become so common and accepted by so many people today.

    The MAIN THING I would have done is to make sure that there were ZERO FIREARMS in his home or anywhere else that he had direct access to. My buddy owned lots of guns and ammo and used one of his own to take his own life.

    So Sad.

    There were zero indicators anything was wrong to everyone that knew him as little as the night before when he attended a large family gathering for a birthday party that included lots of interaction with lots of different people, yet the very next day he did what he did.

    If even one person reading this thread can possibly prevent a similar situation from happening to any of their friends, family or loved ones, something positive may actually come out of this in a remote way, I just wish I had a way to turn back the clock for a mere 24 hours last Monday, but I can't.

    WD.
     
  2. BiggestT

    BiggestT I've posted enough I should edit this section

    Location:
    Fullerton
    Name:
    SM
    Boat:
    Salsipuedes & Czech Mate
    • Messages:
      (11,377)
    • Likes Received:
      (3,485)
    Man that's tough. Sorry for your and everyone's loss.
     
    One_Leg and WaveDancer like this.
  3. Arima-bob

    Arima-bob Ship faced aquaholic

    Location:
    Too far from water
    Name:
    Beeulzebob
    Boat:
    uh....
    • Messages:
      (4,139)
    • Likes Received:
      (2,628)
    I lost a friend a few years ago in a similar fashion. He was in his 20's still but had enough of the world and his life to call it quits.

    He liked to party a lot, but nobody knew what issues he had. He never showed his emotions and was always that guy you were happy to have show up.

    Sorry for your loss. Prayers to his family and friends. I can understand that pain.
     
    EJ Swanny, TEAMFISH and WaveDancer like this.
  4. Wild Bill

    Wild Bill Drinking the Suzuki Kool-aid and liking it!

    Location:
    Camano Island
    Name:
    Steve
    Boat:
    Otter Craft
    • Messages:
      (3,162)
    • Likes Received:
      (2,946)
    I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Mental Ilness definitely needs to be brought out of the dark ages. It needs to be given the proper attention and more help made available to these at risk individuals. You touched on one point that stands out to me. Nobody knew but his family. That needs to change and reducing the negative stigma is probably a start. As far as you making sure his house had no firearms, I think you are beating yourself up and that would have been almost impossible. Furthermore he would have found another way if his mind was set on harming himself. Again, I am very sorry for your loss. Be well.
     
    G-Spot, EJ Swanny, FishPimpII and 5 others like this.
  5. fishbadger

    fishbadger Member

    Location:
    WA
    Name:
    fishbadger
    Boat:
    .Grady Gulfstream 232 "Herd of Turtles"
    • Messages:
      (207)
    • Likes Received:
      (146)
    I'm really glad you posted this. Thanks for helping shed a little more light on a really important topic, and sorry it happened in your radius.

    The gun thing is legit. . .tons of data out there showing that access to them greatly increases conversion rate from suicidal ideations to an effective attempt. Other methods aren't nearly as "effective", irreversible, sudden, or amenable to quick impulse. I'm a gun guy, but can't ignore the data on that topic.

    fb
     
    WaveDancer and FishPimpII like this.
  6. Lundalakan

    Lundalakan Well-Known "Member"

    Location:
    Socal
    Name:
    Lou
    Boat:
    Lund alaskan
    • Messages:
      (287)
    • Likes Received:
      (278)
    Sadly the guv cut funding for mental health decades ago. That and aclu and other groups that have made it harder to compell someone to get help. Couple that with the fact that depression without threats is pretty damn hard to 5150 someone let alone 5250 them. Even if you can convince someone to get counseling, etc getting them to keep it up or on meds can be damned near impossible if they don’t want it. There’s no easy solution
     
    mackereljoe and WaveDancer like this.
  7. tacklejacked

    tacklejacked Capt./ Ho if I get to drive

    Location:
    Seabeck
    Name:
    Greg
    Boat:
    22 Hewescraft Searunner ET HT
    • Messages:
      (2,468)
    • Likes Received:
      (2,206)
    Sorry to hear this Ken. Condolences. Ive seen suicide affect hundreds of people over the years. Its not easy. But its real. 1 in 20 people in the US has some form of mental illness. We all know someone that is suffering, it may not be visible, but its there. Sometimes the only thing you can do is be a friend. If someone is set on taking their life, nothing you do or say can stop them. Unfortunately true mental health "professionals" are few and far between, and most just throw medications at people hoping something works.
    And this is the time of year to really be watching out for each other. Seasonal depression is a real buzz kill, the weather, short days, holidays....etc. It all has a way of creeping up on people and may just be enough to push them over the edge.

    If you haven't seen this you should. Farmer is the real deal.
    https://www.sitkagear.com/placeofpeace
     
    DaKanati, WaveDancer and LJB like this.
  8. wdlfbio

    wdlfbio Once you go Cat, you never go back

    Location:
    maple valley, wa
    Name:
    laurence
    Boat:
    2017 LUMACAT 28' Sport
    • Messages:
      (8,536)
    • Likes Received:
      (7,826)
  9. Titan

    Titan I've posted enough I should edit this section

    Location:
    Sammamish/WA/USA
    Name:
    Kamen
    Boat:
    Dinghy
    • Messages:
      (1,920)
    • Likes Received:
      (828)
    Sorry for your loss, Ken.
     
  10. FHisherman

    FHisherman Well-Known "Member"

    Location:
    Anacortes, WA
    Name:
    Kevin
    Boat:
    Parker
    • Messages:
      (262)
    • Likes Received:
      (494)
    A friend's son committed suicide just after Thanksgiving this year. 30 years old. I feel so friggin' bad for my friend and his family. What do you say? Just told him how sorry we were and to let us know if he needed anything. The son had some troubles, but nothing he couldn't have pulled out of if he had tried. Someone who ends it all has to be in a head space I can't really imagine. It must be awful.
     
    WaveDancer likes this.
  11. *****

    ***** Well-Known "Member"

    Location:
    San Diego
    Name:
    Blake
    Boat:
    25' Skipjack FB
    • Messages:
      (720)
    • Likes Received:
      (261)
    I've had three friends "opt-out" within a span of 2 years. All different ages:
    Friend #1 :used pills
    Friend #2: a rope
    Friend #3: a gun

    The one thing they all had in common was really nasty divorces with kids involved.
     
    WaveDancer likes this.
  12. Cohoho

    Cohoho I've posted enough I should edit this section

    Location:
    Lake Tapps, Washington
    Name:
    Cohoho
    Boat:
    COHOHO - 23 ft Wooldridge Super Sport Offshore - SOLD
    • Messages:
      (1,582)
    • Likes Received:
      (1,505)
    Sad - too many good ones I've know choose that route. As a military Policeman I responded to several throughout my 20 year military career, something you got numb too for sure, but empathy was there for those left behind. i.e. kids and loved ones that pay the end price of always asking and wondering "what did I do wrong or what could I have done differently" really fucks up their minds for a long time. Most folks do show warning signs, if someone falls off your scope of conversation, reengage them, simple calls to say hi - helps out drastically in their lives.
     
    WaveDancer and mackereljoe like this.
  13. EJ Swanny

    EJ Swanny I've posted enough I should edit this section

    Location:
    Redondo/WA
    Name:
    Erik
    Boat:
    "Riley-J" 2006 21' Proline Tourney
    • Messages:
      (2,487)
    • Likes Received:
      (1,217)
    Fucked up for sure. Lost my best friend and cousin. Both blew their heads off. Both around 20. I used to think....just exercise (get those good endorphins going) and follow what makes you happy. I may as well thought the earth was flat. It is a scientific proven disease. MRI and CT scans show a different brain activities.

    We need to treat it like cancer, HIV, etc. For whatever reason it seems to be getting worse. It is not a choice, it is real.

    If any of you have (or have had) suicidal thoughts...PLEASE..seek help....lots of resources out there...please use them ( 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)) or (1-800-273-TALK (8255) )...or (24/7/365 Crisis Hotline Call: (775) 784-8090 or Text: “ANSWER” to 839863

    hell call me, I will do my best to help you seek relief and understanding....253-350-6058......
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
    LJB, easydoesit86, FHisherman and 3 others like this.
  14. A-K

    A-K Member

    Location:
    Washington
    Name:
    Aaron
    Boat:
    Parker 2320
    • Messages:
      (186)
    • Likes Received:
      (101)
    2 people close to me have done this.

    EJ is right. If you need help please ask for it. Talk to your friends and/or see a doctor. It sucks for the people left behind. The low points in life are temporary, there is a light at the end of the tunnel no mater how dim it may seem at the moment.
     
    EJ Swanny and WaveDancer like this.

Share This Page