Sober Fishing

matt86m

Not worthy of a Title
Apr 6, 2010
2,494
710
Fountain Valley, CA
Name
Matt
Boat
20' Tiara Pursuit
Good on you Henry! I'll buddy boat with you in the harbor once I get my jon boat up and running. Got the 9.9 mercury humming yesterday. Time to get the boat outfitted. Need to hook up and check out all you have done to yours.
 
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CaptJgray

I Should Upgrade My Account
Jan 23, 2014
1,542
866
44
Huntington Beach
Name
Jeff Gray
Boat
hell no....
FWIW David Choate (Wahoo Dad) is a great charter master to fish with and talk to about these issues. Not only that but people become better fisherman just being in his presence. And he is a truly amazing human being, always willing to help, listen, and teach. One of the truly best men I know and I am proud to be his friend
 

DaMole67

Newbie
Feb 19, 2021
15
24
53
San Diego
Name
Russell Pitts
Boat
None
Hi,
I just saw this post as I just joined BD.
I have the same issue.
I used to fish, camp, and socialize with friends who drank quite a bit - as did I. Well, I've been sober for a couple of years now.
I am planning to return to fishing, but I don't know any anglers who don't drink.

I've done some lake and surf fishing, and I've done a day boat fishing trip. I'm probably not a partner most people on this website would want to join them on a boat due to lack of experience. However, I would like to learn.
I would pay my share, and I don't do politics or get into the social stuff going on.
I suppose this is me looking (requesting) for someone/people to go fishing with who do not drink.

I live in San Diego, by the way.
 

Arima-bob

Ship faced aquaholic
Mar 9, 2012
5,168
3,963
Too far from water
Name
Beeulzebob
Boat
uh....
Hi,
I just saw this post as I just joined BD.
I have the same issue.
I used to fish, camp, and socialize with friends who drank quite a bit - as did I. Well, I've been sober for a couple of years now.
I am planning to return to fishing, but I don't know any anglers who don't drink.

I've done some lake and surf fishing, and I've done a day boat fishing trip. I'm probably not a partner most people on this website would want to join them on a boat due to lack of experience. However, I would like to learn.
I would pay my share, and I don't do politics or get into the social stuff going on.
I suppose this is me looking (requesting) for someone/people to go fishing with who do not drink.

I live in San Diego, by the way.

Get your info on the boat ho/ ride share list.

 

Danthefishman

Member
Oct 30, 2006
719
271
La Mesa
Name
Dan
Boat
Aquasport 215DC
Best decision you'll ever make Henry! I got sober at 29 (7 years ago) and know how hard it can be. I thought my life was over and could never have fun again. Boy was I wrong. Life had just begun! Stay strong my friend, the struggle is so worth it. Reach out if you ever need anything or are in SD and wanna fish 🤙
 
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Day0ne

I Should Upgrade My Account
Dec 24, 2004
1,032
486
74
Texas
Name
David
Boat
233 Formula Shadowdancer
29+ years
 

hbouldin1216

I Should Upgrade My Account
May 10, 2012
1,432
1,175
Lodi, CA
Name
Henry Bouldin
Boat
14 Gregor - Tinacious
Wow, I had forgotten about this thread. Sad to say that at the time of my original post, I in fact was not ready to stop drinking and left the rooms of AA a few months later. Shockingly, things did not improve and only got worse. 2 more years of depression and loneliness had me back in the bottle. July 25th 2019, I met my now fiancé and everything was instantly better. I knew from our first date that I was going to marry her and the next day got serious about scaling back my drinking. At that point, alcohol had it's physical claws into me and the withdrawals were absolutely horrible. I'd make it 2-3 days and then feel like I was dying, knowing the cure to it was a few blocks away at the corner store. Working from home during COVID further enabled me, and since no clients were accepting outside vendors or visitors, my pint a day turned into almost a fifth a day, and as my wedding neared (was supposed to be next weekend) I ended up in the hospital with withdrawal symptoms. I'd been passing the vomiting and shakes off as "high blood pressure events," though I knew damn well what was happening.

On November 8, 2020, I finally faced my fiancé about what was really going on, after hiding my drinking from her for the entire year and a half we'd been together. I was sick and exhausted of hiding it, the lies and guilt and shame were going to kill me if the alcohol didn't first. Her world was flipped upside down; as a highly-functioning alcohol she had no idea I was drinking, as I would seldom have more than a glass of wine or two in social environments. She didn't believe me until I showed her the suitcase full of empty bottles hidden in my office closet. Her world crumbled and I really thought I was going to lose her. The scary thing is I still might.

I entered a 10 week program through Kaiser Permanente and got 80 days clean before I lapsed January 27th, one month before the original wedding date. We had put it on hold back in November, but this was another dagger through her. The next day, I was back in AA, and haven't missed a day in the last 22. It's going to stick this time; it has to or I'll lose the woman of my dreams. She hasn't left yet but we're by no means through this yet. She's finally agreed to couples counseling and I pray that it helps pave a path forward together.

I share this story as a testament of just how awful this disease is, and how hard it is to get sober. Re-reading my initial post, I almost laugh at how idealistic it sounded. That 28 yr old had no business thinking he was ready to be sober, although I wish like hell he'd done the work back then. I can't change what happened and can only control what's in front of me, one day at a time. I just want others who might be having a tough time making it stick to keep on trucking. These fresh 22 days seem somehow more real than the first 80; it's like I peeled another layer back that I didn't know existed, and God pointed me to a great AA room full of people who have been there, done that, and want to help. I live in NorCal now so I won't likely be taking anyone up on the offers of boat rides, but maybe some day I'll be able to hop on one of those sober-friendly charters. Others drinking doesn't bother me, but it's nice to have a few guys around who you can have a Diet Coke with.

I'm Henry, a grateful and recovering alcoholic by God's grace and the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thanks for letting me share.
 

Reel 007

I Should Upgrade My Account
Jun 12, 2006
1,624
837
Glendora Ca
Name
Leon
Boat
28 Wellcraft Coastal "vagabond'
I am going to be brutally honest with you Henry, so long as you keep doing this for someone else the relapses will keep happening.

This is a ME programme, you need get to the place that it's about you and your spiritual condition to stand a chance, you need to get to a place where this is about you without outside influences, doing for the job, Mom, girlfriend or anything else is a lesson in futility.

I started to wish you "good luck", however this is not a programme of "LUCK", those of us that have gotten sober and stayed sober long term did so through change and commitment.
Walk softly and carry a big book.
PS: June 16th 1989.
 
May 26, 2015
976
1,333
64
Name
Pura Vida
Boat
Pura Vida 30' Custom Panga
Getting sober starts with the right frame of mind , you need to be Mentally prepared and strong willed, I agree 100 percent that this is you and only you that Can do this , you have to do this for yourself , the world is a beautiful place sober and you need to concentrate and do the deal other wise you`re story will be a rerun , when I got serious in the program I went to 3 meetings a day for 6 months , I did not return to my Company until I was sure of my self and I had the mental tools I needed, you can do it Henry
 

madrugador

ITS ALL ABOUT THE HUNT
  • Jul 6, 2004
    3,037
    2,682
    47
    el cajon
    Name
    chad
    Boat
    26 blackman MADRUGADOR II For sale ,13'6 gregor hoopster
    Our recent camping trip we had a 29yr sober, 26 yrs sober ,19 yrs sober and my wife at 9 yrs sober ( we would not be together today if she did not get sober) . One of my fishing buddies is struggling with this as well and he is going 3 months . I make sure when my buddy going on 3 months is on the boat there is absolutely no alcohol. Any ways if I can help in any way let me know but you need to do this for YOU. I'm confident you can . Wish you the best.
     

    jer dog

    Fishing is life
    Jun 22, 2006
    8,820
    6,840
    Garden Grove
    Name
    Gerry
    Boat
    One that floats
    Getting sober starts with the right frame of mind , you need to be Mentally prepared and strong willed, I agree 100 percent that this is you and only you that Can do this , you have to do this for yourself , the world is a beautiful place sober and you need to concentrate and do the deal other wise you`re story will be a rerun , when I got serious in the program I went to 3 meetings a day for 6 months , I did not return to my Company until I was sure of my self and I had the mental tools I needed, you can do it Henry
    A lot of good advice here,
    I seen my grandpa lose
    His license for life,
    A uncle , that was drunk all the time ,
    And ran a tucking business into the ground, And my dad would tell
    Me to be be responsible when I
    Drink,
    And I got away with a DUI,
    Because I was just under the 1.0,
    Back in 1982, and have not got behind the wheel, after having even just one
    Since, I have been
    Lucky, and I
    Drink in moderation,
    That way I can
    Enjoy my family,
    For a long time to come.
     
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    One_Leg

    Ret. Comm. Diver Medic
    May 11, 2007
    5,607
    2,118
    You're mined!
    www.csicop.org
    Name
    Alan
    Boat
    1967 Cobia Cuddy Cabin/Evinrude Looper
    I understand wanting something tasty to drink.

    Alcohol-bad

    Soda pop-bad

    Artificially sweetened drinks-bad


    Water-GREAT

    It is far easier to quit drinking alcohol if you eat nutritionally dense foods, instead of foods that contain unhealthy fats, added sugars and loads of salt.

    Try to substitute healthy habits for harmful ones whenever possible.

    I look forward to seeing your fishing reports as a happily married couple.
     

    ShadowX

    I Should Upgrade My Account
    Oct 10, 2010
    2,160
    2,332
    Los Angeles
    Name
    Alex
    Boat
    None
    Congratulations on trying to fight your demons. No group of people in the world can make you accountable. They can help you stay in the right path, but the ultimate decision maker is you. In my personal past, I found that quitting cold made drinking worse in the long run. Now, I just try to moderate my consumption and stay within my limits. Everyone has their way in dealing with the problem. I hope you stay in the path you choose.
     

    hbouldin1216

    I Should Upgrade My Account
    May 10, 2012
    1,432
    1,175
    Lodi, CA
    Name
    Henry Bouldin
    Boat
    14 Gregor - Tinacious
    I am going to be brutally honest with you Henry, so long as you keep doing this for someone else the relapses will keep happening.

    This is a ME programme, you need get to the place that it's about you and your spiritual condition to stand a chance, you need to get to a place where this is about you without outside influences, doing for the job, Mom, girlfriend or anything else is a lesson in futility.

    I started to wish you "good luck", however this is not a programme of "LUCK", those of us that have gotten sober and stayed sober long term did so through change and commitment.
    Walk softly and carry a big book.
    PS: June 16th 1989.

    until this most recent lapse, Im able to admit in hindsight that I wasn’t doing it for myself. Since, I’ve had to mentally and emotionally prepare myself that she might leave, and understand that sobriety is my path with or without her. Thanks for the reinforcement
     

    A-K

    Member
    Jun 14, 2015
    257
    147
    Gig Harbor Washington
    Name
    Aaron
    Boat
    Parker 2320
    Hi,
    I just saw this post as I just joined BD.
    I have the same issue.
    I used to fish, camp, and socialize with friends who drank quite a bit - as did I. Well, I've been sober for a couple of years now.
    I am planning to return to fishing, but I don't know any anglers who don't drink.

    I've done some lake and surf fishing, and I've done a day boat fishing trip. I'm probably not a partner most people on this website would want to join them on a boat due to lack of experience. However, I would like to learn.
    I would pay my share, and I don't do politics or get into the social stuff going on.
    I suppose this is me looking (requesting) for someone/people to go fishing with who do not drink.

    I live in San Diego, by the way.

    There are groups of us out there who don’t drink and fish. I fish with 4-5 friends on a regular basis. Only one of us drinks lightly. Keep a look out you can meet some good buds in the fishing world.