Prayers needed - Been very ill the last 17 mos

hotrod

El Capitan
Mar 23, 2003
4,018
315
57
Escondido, CA
Name
Mike
Boat
22' Grady White Seafarer ("GalaxSea")
This may come as a shock to some of you and it is very hard to share this with you, so as you read this just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I've been very ill for the last 17 months and have been suffering from severe symptoms of GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), severe depression and now severe somatic disorder. I have real pain from injuries, anxiety pain and somatic pain (my head, neck, back, and feet always hurt and the muscles are tight about half to 3/4 of the day. Add in fogginess, dizziness in my head, my nervous system is compromised I walk wobbly most of the time and walk like an 95 year old man. I can stand on my feet for up to only 15-20 mins in the am and only 2-10 mins in the pm, depending on the pain level in the feet. Sadly I now only weigh 165 lbs where I weighed 206 lbs on my last job in Oct 2017. I have major atrophy in my back as well, but I'm working on it now. Through all this, I keep going forward, praying, agonizing, crying, staying hopeful, trying to stay positive as possible and above all hanging in there.

15 mos ago in April 2018, I was hospitalized in ER overnight with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and then when my symptoms worsened I was in the emergency room mid May 2018 for 5 days. I got better a month later for 3 mos in June, July (best month), and August. After August, things got worse and worse with difficulties and tension at home. In Jan of this year I was then diagnosed with severe depression on top it. A week or two later I injured myself trying to lower myself in the Jacuzzi tub pulling muscles in my Right glute, groin and hip flexor, and strained the patella tendon on both knees, more the right knee. I was back in the ER for 3 days in a row Feb 19-21 and someway somehow kept going forward, but my doctor doubled my dosage of clonopin (med for anxiety and depression). I was going to the gym almost everyday but losing strength and weight through it all. The first week in March I went to the bench press at the gym and tried to lift the 45 barbell up, The left arm slowly came off but the right side didnt and I was laying there awkwardly with the barbell at an angle. In the process I injured the muscle above my right should blade in. These 2 injuries have affected me greatly the last 6 mos. At the end of March I was diagnosed with severe somatic disorder by my psychologist. Think of it as supercharged anxiety plus different parts of your body tightening up (for me my back, back side of head and neck, and right side of my stomach). It was also make areas of injury hurt more in my body - very awful to say the least. After 8 visits with the psychologist and several migraines and some somatic episodes in therapy sessions with him later, I said enough, so I stopped going to see him. I got a little better in April and one week into May but then my low back and whole back started bothering me. No major back issues in Feb though May 7. On Sat May 11 I used the row and lat pull down machines, all on the lowest setting. After that I had major back spasms out of the blue. My family doctor said stop lifting weights, so stopped on the back machines only - I continued on my chest and lifecycle. The next 6 weeks I got worse and weakened - June was awful to say the least. On top of it, my wife insisted I go do Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatment June 12 and 17. ECT therapy is a medical treatment most commonly used in patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder that has not responded to other treatments. ECT involves a brief electrical stimulation of the brain while the patient is under anesthesia and causes a seizure to your body. I came to my senses after 2 treatments realizes my body was too weak to do this further. This may have been better last January.

Fast forward to today...the last 4 weeks have been hard with the same pain plus restless feet and legs, however, I have gone to physical therapy to get a bit stronger in the back and thighs. The last 4 weeks my central nervous system feels more compromised and my back for the most part fills as stiff and a 5 ft piece of rebar with pain most of the time. Now the good news, my acupuncturists has made an herbal blend for inflammation and muscle spasms, so Ive only taken alleve 3 times the last month, and one of those times was for a migraine. So I'm lifting light weights using only 2 machines at the gym for my back as of the end of June.

More good news...Today I saw a naturopath and after reviewing my last 17 mos, she feels some of my metabolic pathways are off and I have leaky gut and leaky brain which she says are symptoms of the off metabolic part - Most likely the transsulfuration pathway - see the images below. So today they ordered a epigentics test and neurotransmitter panel. So fingers crossed, I have to continue to have faith that we will get to the bottom of this, it will just take some time. Thanks for taking the time to read this. God bless.


IMG_98691.jpg IMG_98701.jpg
 
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PacificBlue

I've posted enough I should edit this section
Nov 25, 2011
368
217
USA
Name
JM
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Still Looking
Toothpaste has sodium laurel sulfate, get rid of it.
 

yakdout

Professional
Jun 26, 2014
1,393
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San Diego
Name
Brandon
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s and hoes
My three recommendations from experience

1) stay busy

2) do things that make you happy and keep you busy

3) try to get off the pills when you can.

I think doctors are pill pushers, misdiagnosing people to keep them on medication they get kick backs for. I’ve been there, and did the three things above, never felt better. Some of those pills will really fuck you up and make you feel worse. That should be your last resort.
 

Jaysons999

Internet fisherman
Apr 5, 2015
2,319
2,139
34
San marcos
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Jay
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16' blue fin "paddy sniffer" 18' Starcraft “Ace of Spades”
Damn that is terrible to read man. I hope the best for you brother. One step at a time.
 

fishfish

I've posted enough I should edit this section
Jun 21, 2006
2,663
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Santee
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Gerry
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Sold and Gone!!!
Will pray to our creator for you my BD brother . Hang in there and believe and pray that you will get better. Nothing is too big for God to overcome !!!
 
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pacificscout

Hey! You got any frozen ice?
Jul 28, 2012
3,492
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Fullerton
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Wally
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16ft Scout EMBUSTERO
Hello Mike,
Do you have a 40lb 2spd rod I can barrow until you feel better?
Heard it's what you need for SD fishing.

Thanks Wally
 

hotrod

El Capitan
Mar 23, 2003
4,018
315
57
Escondido, CA
Name
Mike
Boat
22' Grady White Seafarer ("GalaxSea")
Hello Mike,
Do you have a 40lb 2spd rod I can barrow until you feel better?
Heard it's what you need for SD fishing.

Thanks Wally
I have two 2-speed trolling rods. They both need service and new top shot. You're welcome to use them til I get better. PM me here if you want to use one or both.
 

hotrod

El Capitan
Mar 23, 2003
4,018
315
57
Escondido, CA
Name
Mike
Boat
22' Grady White Seafarer ("GalaxSea")
My three recommendations from experience

1) stay busy

2) do things that make you happy and keep you busy

3) try to get off the pills when you can.

I think doctors are pill pushers, misdiagnosing people to keep them on medication they get kick backs for. I’ve been there, and did the three things above, never felt better. Some of those pills will really fuck you up and make you feel worse. That should be your last resort.
I agree Brandon. I'm 50% of the clonopin over the last 3 mos. The last 50% will be a challenge which I have to figure out.
 

stairman

......
May 16, 2009
5,163
3,130
ramona /ca/usa
Name
doug
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yak and lowe duck hunting skiff but they identify as sportfishing crusiers
That's a lot of stuff going on...hope you find answers
 

Derby

My "Member" is Well Known.
Sep 9, 2010
4,408
1,811
SouthBay SF
Name
The Kid
Boat
Aquasport 222 FFV
I have been to the depths of despair before. Everyone and every experience is different, however, a lot of the psychological symptoms sound all too familiar.

All I can say is keep moving forward. Do not focus on the past or present. Always forward!

Hope you all the best.

Quit the weights. Use bands or body weight. Repetition is more important the weight...especially when trying to get off the ground floor.
 
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gecsr1

28' Aquasport "Reel Adventure II"
Jul 15, 2005
13,308
3,291
Poway Ca
Name
Gary
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28' Aquasport "Reel Adventure II" / PlainJaneRods
Hang in there...
 

BiggestT

I've posted enough I should edit this section
Sep 8, 2004
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Fullerton
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SM
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Salsipuedes & Czech Mate
Keep the faith and keep pushing forward.

Past 3 years have been brutal on my right foot. 2 surgeries and likely staring at a 3rd to clean up scar tissue entrapping tibial nerve on the inside of the ankle. It really limits what I can do. My Normal commute to LA is by train and subway plus about a 6 block walk each way and 8 to 10 floors total of stairs. I hit 3+ miles round trip and by the end of the day my foot is stiff. I came home thinking I’d ride the mountain bike for an hour, but foot was stiff and shot, so I jumped in the pool. Fortunately, they let me work from home and I did so 2 of my 4 days last week (we have every other Friday off).
 

Willdoggy

Willing Member
Jun 25, 2014
2,101
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Chula Vista
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IG = WetWillyBiz
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Purr-Sea-Stance: Boston Whaler Montauk 170
Hey Mike,
Sorry to hear that your condition had worsened. I wish you all the best in a speedy recovery. You did not mention your diet but take a look at that if you have not already. Clean eating and just walking a few miles consistently will help and Water.....lots of water.
Best,
Will
 

Hiimhaiii

boner loaner
Sep 18, 2018
300
245
Orange county
Name
Haime
Boat
Malibu Ocean kayak
Serious question. Have you taken/ been prescribed to take any GABA over the counter for your anxiety yet?

I have a bottle i’d love to send you if it will help you feel better, which I think it would. At the very least scratch the surface.
 

smokinwater

"Fire's Out!"
Apr 27, 2011
1,291
307
Chula Vista, CA
Name
Jon
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won't b mine
couldn't agree more with two posted above: consider giving up the weights and the pills. Bad ju-ju the both. Best to you, My Brother.
 

hotrod

El Capitan
Mar 23, 2003
4,018
315
57
Escondido, CA
Name
Mike
Boat
22' Grady White Seafarer ("GalaxSea")
couldn't agree more with two posted above: consider giving up the weights and the pills. Bad ju-ju the both. Best to you, My Brother.
My body only allows me to go to the gym or physical therapy in the morning til 1pm timeframe. Using bands at physical therapy and bring them home now. At the gym, only using 10-15 lbs on the row machine and 15 lbs on the lat pull down machine. Its light but my reps are at 2 sets of 13 reps. As far as the clonopin goes, im 50% off of it since April 2nd and its a powerful drug, its a benzo, so its a slow process. I'm hopeful the naturapath can help me quicker the last 50%.
 
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hotrod

El Capitan
Mar 23, 2003
4,018
315
57
Escondido, CA
Name
Mike
Boat
22' Grady White Seafarer ("GalaxSea")
Hey Mike,
Sorry to hear that your condition had worsened. I wish you all the best in a speedy recovery. You did not mention your diet but take a look at that if you have not already. Clean eating and just walking a few miles consistently will help and Water.....lots of water.
Best,
Will
Will, thanks for reaching out. Working on the diet every week. Can walk only 50-100 feet in the morning and only 25-50 feet in the afternoon. Chronic feet pain and the body & nervous system tightens up somatically (stiff and pain) from 3pm on. Praying that this changes but has been this way for the last 9 mos.