Post your favorite blond joke

May 16, 2006
2,614
6
38
sometimes oahu.....mostly iraq occasionally afghan
Name
mike
Boat
25 ft powercat "Crazy Haole"
my submission



A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
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fishstomp

Picaroon
Aug 11, 2008
1,113
893
113
ɐsn ɐɔ 'pןǝıɟsɹǝʞɐq
Name
Doug
Boat
18' Seaswirl
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</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>​

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has just eaten?
A: The belt buckle marks on her forehead. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
How are blondes and parking spaces alike?
<o:p></o:p>
All the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.<o:p></o:p>
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?<o:p></o:p>
Pregnant. <o:p></o:p>
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?<o:p></o:p>
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.<o:p></o:p>
What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?<o:p></o:p>
You take your shoes off before you get on a trampoline.<o:p></o:p>
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?<o:p></o:p>
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. <o:p></o:p>
Q. How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?<o:p></o:p>
A. Opens the car door.<o:p></o:p>
Q. What does a blonde say after sex?<o:p></o:p>
A. Thanks guys!<o:p></o:p>
 

Luhr'd Away

Member
Jul 9, 2007
3,929
1
36
San Pedro/ Victorville
Name
Art
Boat
40' Luhrs Convertible, Luhr'd Away (SOLD)
Two hookers, one blonde, one brunette are walking down the street. Blonde says, we are going to make some money tonight, I smell dick in the air. Brunette says, you bumb bitch, thats my breath.
 

okie man

I've posted enough I should edit this section
Oct 24, 2006
3,833
551
113
new palestine indiana
Name
kerry way
Boat
18' javalin
what's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?









washing machine doesn't chase you around for a week after you dump a load in it!
 

Fishbones

Your wife thinks about ME
Nov 7, 2005
1,008,014
1,194
113
57
Chula Vista
Name
Rich
Boat
One Off 28' Custom Built Skipjack (SOUTHWESTERN) & 18' Sylvan (Short Runs)
What do you call a Blonde skeleton in the closet?










World champion Hide and seek player
 

Team Ball's Out

Well-Known "Member"
Jun 18, 2005
1,937
477
83
63
Vista
Name
Ray Collier
Boat
23' Sea Swirl Striper
2 blondes were talking one day and one said "which is farther away Fla or the Moon? the other said "what are you kidding me? what a dumb ass you are you can see the moon!"
 
Jul 18, 2003
1,519
1
0
67
downey/ca
Visit site
Name
bill swift
Boat
Triumph 215 CC
Two blondes go to the lake rent a boat and go out fishing.The first blonde catches a nice fish and another and another.The second blonde takes out her red lipstick and marks a big red X on the side of the boat.The first blonde says why did you do that?The second answer's this way tomorrow we can bring the boys out and show them we can find fish.The first says how do you know we will get this same boat tomorrow :2gunsfiring_v1:
 

scuba e

tool
Jan 28, 2007
688
2
16
COSTA MESA
Name
ERIK
Boat
20' Century
Blond goes to the dr. Says "it hurts when I touch here, here and here." Dr. says "you have a broken finger."

Blond goes home to her mom and says " Mom, I think I'm pregnent". Mom says "Are you sure its yours?".

Blond, brunette and red head are sitting in OBGYN office waiting room.
Brunette says "I'm going to have a boy cuz I was on top."
Red head says "I'm going to have a girl cuz I was on bottom."
The blond begins to cry. the others ask whats wrong to which the blond sobs "I'm going to have puppies!".
 

Tues

Not my job...
Mar 17, 2008
6,193
43
48
Saluki
Name
Likes
Boat
Penis
A Blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some Rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they Don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been Buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"
"But I always buy it here," says the blonde

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the Pharmacist..

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist Who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container.........

" TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM"
 

olderfisher

Newbie
Jun 6, 2010
74
0
6
corona ca, riverside
Name
Lee
Boat
n/a
Blond finds rubbers in her husbands car and ask him what is this? He replys there covers for my cigarettes when it rains to keep them dry. Next day the blond goes to the drug store and asks the clerk do have these that fit CAMELS.......
 

olderfisher

Newbie
Jun 6, 2010
74
0
6
corona ca, riverside
Name
Lee
Boat
n/a
Two blonds walking down the street and go past a barber shop that the owner is burning the hair from the floor in a can in back of the shop, first blond says do you smell that, smell like hair. Second blond replies YOU THINK WE'RE WALKING TO FAST......
 

Tues

Not my job...
Mar 17, 2008
6,193
43
48
Saluki
Name
Likes
Boat
Penis
What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?


You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
 

stairman

......
May 16, 2009
5,061
2,887
113
ramona /ca/usa
Name
doug
Boat
yak and lowe duck hunting skiff but they identify as sportfishing crusiers
do you know what a blondes boyfriend is doing when she is having the greatest sex of her life?

he's out on a long range trip
 

Sherm

aka: The Sherminator
May 16, 2006
7,359
160
63
57
San Diego
Name
Scott
Boat
Yak
Blonde walks into a pizza shop and orders a pizza. The guy behind the counter asks if she wants the pizza cut into 4 or 8 slices. The blonde says..."you better make it four......I'm not that hungry".
 

ctl_dog

Newbie
Apr 22, 2008
325
0
16
55
CA
Name
Forest
Boat
Cobra fish n dive
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
 

AhSpray

Assistant Gaffer
Apr 25, 2003
641
112
43
56
Escondido
Name
Rob
Boat
AAA+++ Ho
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
 
May 16, 2006
2,614
6
38
sometimes oahu.....mostly iraq occasionally afghan
Name
mike
Boat
25 ft powercat "Crazy Haole"
a blind man enters a Lesbian Bar . He finds his way to a bar stool and
orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell
that joke, sir, I think it is just fair (given that you are blind) that you
should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares,
'Nah....Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
 

Ultimate Catch

One life to live!!
Jul 30, 2008
2,479
450
83
San Diego
cox.net
Name
Rob
Boat
Sea swirl Striper
do you know what a blondes boyfriend is doing when she is having the greatest sex of her life?

he's out on a long range trip
So your saying that she only has great sex when your gone??
 

carcass

Well-Known "Member"
Apr 25, 2009
760
326
63
Cedar City Utah
Name
scott
Boat
None
Two blondes were fishing off the bank of a river in the Northwest. A Fish and Game warden sees them, walks up to them and asks them to show him their fishing licence. Both blondes said that they didn't need any as they were not fishing. The warden tells them that they have fishing poles in the water, so they are indeed fishing and need a license.
The blondes reel in and both have a large magnet at the end of the line. "See, we are not fishing at all. There is no hook or bait."
Perplexed, the warden leaves them alone. As he gets into his vehicle, one blonde whispers to the other, " What an idiot. He must not know there are steelhead in this river."