Post your favorite blond joke

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by jagerhunchback, Jun 22, 2010.

  1. jagerhunchback

    jagerhunchback MCLMM

    Location:
    sometimes oahu.....mostly iraq occasionally afghan
    Name:
    mike
    Boat:
    25 ft powercat "Crazy Haole"
    • Messages:
      (2,614)
    • Likes Received:
      (6)
    my submission



    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they
    were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
    <!-- google_ad_section_end --> :rofl:
     
  2. fishstomp

    fishstomp Picaroon

    Location:
    ɐsn ɐɔ 'pןǝıɟsɹǝʞɐq
    Name:
    Doug
    Boat:
    18' Seaswirl
    • Messages:
      (1,107)
    • Likes Received:
      (887)
    <TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%; BACKGROUND: black; mso-cellspacing: 0in; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184; mso-padding-alt: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt" class=MsoNormalTable border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR style="mso-yfti-irow: 0; mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes"><TD style="BORDER-BOTTOM: #ece9d8; BORDER-LEFT: #ece9d8; PADDING-BOTTOM: 2.25pt; PADDING-LEFT: 2.25pt; PADDING-RIGHT: 2.25pt; BACKGROUND: white; BORDER-TOP: #ece9d8; BORDER-RIGHT: black 1pt solid; PADDING-TOP: 2.25pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid black .5pt" vAlign=top>
    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>​

    Q: How can you tell when a blonde has just eaten?
    A: The belt buckle marks on her forehead. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[​IMG]How are blondes and parking spaces alike?<o:p></o:p>
    All the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.<o:p></o:p>
    What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?<o:p></o:p>
    Pregnant. <o:p></o:p>
    What do blondes and cow pies have in common?<o:p></o:p>
    The older they get the easier they are to pick up.<o:p></o:p>
    What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?<o:p></o:p>
    You take your shoes off before you get on a trampoline.<o:p></o:p>
    Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?<o:p></o:p>
    A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. <o:p></o:p>
    Q. How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?<o:p></o:p>
    A. Opens the car door.<o:p></o:p>
    Q. What does a blonde say after sex?<o:p></o:p>
    A. Thanks guys!<o:p></o:p>
     
  3. Luhr'd Away

    Luhr'd Away Member

    Location:
    San Pedro/ Victorville
    Name:
    Art
    Boat:
    40' Luhrs Convertible, Luhr'd Away (SOLD)
    • Messages:
      (3,929)
    • Likes Received:
      (1)
    Two hookers, one blonde, one brunette are walking down the street. Blonde says, we are going to make some money tonight, I smell dick in the air. Brunette says, you bumb bitch, thats my breath.
     
  4. Luhr'd Away

    Luhr'd Away Member

    Location:
    San Pedro/ Victorville
    Name:
    Art
    Boat:
    40' Luhrs Convertible, Luhr'd Away (SOLD)
    • Messages:
      (3,929)
    • Likes Received:
      (1)
    Heres one for the books
     

    Attached Files:

  5. jagerhunchback

    jagerhunchback MCLMM

    Location:
    sometimes oahu.....mostly iraq occasionally afghan
    Name:
    mike
    Boat:
    25 ft powercat "Crazy Haole"
    • Messages:
      (2,614)
    • Likes Received:
      (6)
    fucking hilarious!!!!!!!:rofl:
     
  6. okie man

    okie man I've posted enough I should edit this section

    Location:
    new palestine indiana
    Name:
    kerry way
    Boat:
    18' javalin
    • Messages:
      (3,806)
    • Likes Received:
      (528)
    what's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?









    washing machine doesn't chase you around for a week after you dump a load in it!
     
  7. Fishbones

    Fishbones Your wife thinks about ME

    Location:
    Chula Vista
    Name:
    Rich
    Boat:
    One Off 28' Custom Built Skipjack (SOUTHWESTERN) & 18' Sylvan (Short Runs)
    • Messages:
      (1,007,931)
    • Likes Received:
      (1,107)
    What do you call a Blonde skeleton in the closet?










    World champion Hide and seek player
     
  8. Team Ball's Out

    Team Ball's Out Well-Known "Member"

    Location:
    Vista
    Name:
    Ray Collier
    Boat:
    23' Sea Swirl Striper
    • Messages:
      (1,937)
    • Likes Received:
      (477)
    2 blondes were talking one day and one said "which is farther away Fla or the Moon? the other said "what are you kidding me? what a dumb ass you are you can see the moon!"
     
  9. fishkillerbill

    fishkillerbill Newbie

    Location:
    downey/ca
    Name:
    bill swift
    Boat:
    Triumph 215 CC
    • Messages:
      (1,519)
    • Likes Received:
      (1)
    Two blondes go to the lake rent a boat and go out fishing.The first blonde catches a nice fish and another and another.The second blonde takes out her red lipstick and marks a big red X on the side of the boat.The first blonde says why did you do that?The second answer's this way tomorrow we can bring the boys out and show them we can find fish.The first says how do you know we will get this same boat tomorrow :2gunsfiring_v1:
     
  10. scuba e

    scuba e tool

    Location:
    COSTA MESA
    Name:
    ERIK
    Boat:
    20' Century
    • Messages:
      (688)
    • Likes Received:
      (2)
    Blond goes to the dr. Says "it hurts when I touch here, here and here." Dr. says "you have a broken finger."

    Blond goes home to her mom and says " Mom, I think I'm pregnent". Mom says "Are you sure its yours?".

    Blond, brunette and red head are sitting in OBGYN office waiting room.
    Brunette says "I'm going to have a boy cuz I was on top."
    Red head says "I'm going to have a girl cuz I was on bottom."
    The blond begins to cry. the others ask whats wrong to which the blond sobs "I'm going to have puppies!".
     
  11. Tues

    Tues Not my job...

    Location:
    Saluki
    Name:
    Likes
    Boat:
    Penis
    • Messages:
      (6,204)
    • Likes Received:
      (42)
    A Blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some Rectum deodorant.

    The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they Don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

    Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been Buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

    "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"
    "But I always buy it here," says the blonde

    "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the Pharmacist..

    "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
    She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist Who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

    Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container.........

    " TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM"
     
  12. fords4life

    fords4life Diesel Dragger

    Location:
    San Dimas CA
    Name:
    Nathaniel
    Boat:
    A Big One, Someday
    • Messages:
      (169)
    • Likes Received:
      (0)
    What do you call two blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes
     
  13. Tues

    Tues Not my job...

    Location:
    Saluki
    Name:
    Likes
    Boat:
    Penis
    • Messages:
      (6,204)
    • Likes Received:
      (42)
    What do blondes say after sex?


    Thanks, guys!
     
  14. olderfisher

    olderfisher Newbie

    Location:
    corona ca, riverside
    Name:
    Lee
    Boat:
    n/a
    • Messages:
      (74)
    • Likes Received:
      (0)
    Blond finds rubbers in her husbands car and ask him what is this? He replys there covers for my cigarettes when it rains to keep them dry. Next day the blond goes to the drug store and asks the clerk do have these that fit CAMELS.......
     
  15. fishstomp

    fishstomp Picaroon

    Location:
    ɐsn ɐɔ 'pןǝıɟsɹǝʞɐq
    Name:
    Doug
    Boat:
    18' Seaswirl
    • Messages:
      (1,107)
    • Likes Received:
      (887)
    What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown?
    Artificial intelligence......
     
  16. fishstomp

    fishstomp Picaroon

    Location:
    ɐsn ɐɔ 'pןǝıɟsɹǝʞɐq
    Name:
    Doug
    Boat:
    18' Seaswirl
    • Messages:
      (1,107)
    • Likes Received:
      (887)
    Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
    A. A golden retriever.
     
  17. olderfisher

    olderfisher Newbie

    Location:
    corona ca, riverside
    Name:
    Lee
    Boat:
    n/a
    • Messages:
      (74)
    • Likes Received:
      (0)
    Two blonds walking down the street and go past a barber shop that the owner is burning the hair from the floor in a can in back of the shop, first blond says do you smell that, smell like hair. Second blond replies YOU THINK WE'RE WALKING TO FAST......
     
  18. Tues

    Tues Not my job...

    Location:
    Saluki
    Name:
    Likes
    Boat:
    Penis
    • Messages:
      (6,204)
    • Likes Received:
      (42)
    What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?


    You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
     
  19. stairman

    stairman ......

    Location:
    ramona /ca/usa
    Name:
    doug
    Boat:
    yak and lowe duck hunting skiff but they identify as sportfishing crusiers
    • Messages:
      (5,010)
    • Likes Received:
      (2,764)
    do you know what a blondes boyfriend is doing when she is having the greatest sex of her life?

    he's out on a long range trip
     
  20. olderfisher

    olderfisher Newbie

    Location:
    corona ca, riverside
    Name:
    Lee
    Boat:
    n/a
    • Messages:
      (74)
    • Likes Received:
      (0)
    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:THATS COLD
     

Share This Page