man rules

May 16, 2006
sometimes oahu.....mostly iraq occasionally afghan
25 ft powercat "Crazy Haole"
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did
NOTneed directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it
will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Fishing and Boating and Boobs.

1. Yes, wear the push up bra.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes and belts.

1. I am in shape.
ROUND is a shape!


Jun 10, 2010
Alhambra, Ca
I read them to my wife and she said "you're a dick!"


Feb 20, 2006
Hawaii Kai
20', Calais, Shilelagh Law
Hmmmmm, my wife broke the range (glass element type) on our oven the other day by pounding a slab of frozen hamburger patties on it and she broke my truck ignition two weeks ago! I wonder if she'd be able to understand any of these rules??? On the other hand she might just be a genius and just playing dumb/broke em' on purpose so she doesn't have to cook or drive my truck anymore........I'm gonna' print these rules out and post em ' on the fridge-hope she don't break that too!