Joke Of The Day JOTD

troller w

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Dec 14, 2010
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Dennis
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Troller 190 Hewescraft Searunner
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ShadowX

I Post A Lot But I Can't Edit This
Oct 10, 2010
3,527
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Los Angeles
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Anonymous
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None
A woman is walking on a beach in carrying two croakers in a bucket. A game warden walks up and asks to see her fishing license.

“I don’t have a fishing license,” says the woman.

“You know it’s illegal to fish without a license, right?” asks the warden.

“I wasn’t fishing, officer. These croakers are my pets.”

“Your pets?”

“Yes, officer. They like a little exercise, so when the weather’s fine, I take them to the water and let them swim around. Once they’re done, I give them a whistle and they jump back into my bucket and we head home.”

The officer isn’t buying a word of it, so the woman says, “Don’t believe me? Watch!” and she throws the fish into the sea.

The warden waits for a minute then says, “Alright, now whistle to your fish and make them jump out of the water.”

The fisherwoman turns to the officer and says, “What fish?”
 
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luv2phish

I Should Upgrade My Account
  • Jul 5, 2004
    1,524
    198
    chula vista
    Name
    manny
    Boat Name
    n/a
    A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again,
    she decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you.
    Don’t bother coming after me.”

    Then she hide under the bed to see his reaction.
    After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
    After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
    “She’s finally gone…yeah I know, about bloody time, I’m coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.

    I love you…can’t wait to see you…we’ll do all the naughty things you like.

    “He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
    She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
    Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes
    she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…

    “I can see your feet. We’re outta bread: be back in five minutes. 😂😂
     
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    bob_marlin

    Member
  • Apr 23, 2022
    761
    1,303
    chula vista from hawaii
    Name
    bob marlin
    Boat Name
    Mikelson 43’

    LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK​


    The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

    Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

    The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not ‘fascinating’.”

    Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
    The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

    Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

    Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

    The teacher sat down and cried.
     
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    Bill W

    tunaholic
  • Jan 12, 2006
    6,477
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    Chino Hills, Ca.
    Name
    Bill Walsh
    Boat Name
    Red Rooster
    A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. It's 11:00 A.M. on a Wednesday.
    He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and a free education!"
    The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican"
    The man walks on and stops to talk to another passerby "Thank you for having such a beautiful Country here in America.
    The person says "I not American, I Vietnamese"
    The new arrival walks further and the next person he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for a wonderful America!"
    The person pulls his hand away and says "I am from the Middle East, I am not an American"
    He finally sees a nice lady and asks "Are you an American?"
    She says "No, I am from Africa"
    So... Puzzled the Man asked " Where are all the Americans?"
    The African woman looks down at her watch and says... "Probably at work"
     
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