Discussion in 'Washington Fishing Reports' started by Kingcg1990, Aug 11, 2014.
I am thinking it is over. She has moved on. No kids makes it easier. Don't be a fool. Good luck.ii
Count yourself lucky this came up before you had kid. This is an excellent opportunity to find a new one! Start dating before she does (although she probably already is) and it Will be easier for you.
Agree not to bring dates home and start working that craigslist buddy!
Does the CG have marriage counseling?
Talk with the landlord and see if he/she will let you out of the lease.
If she doesn't want to be there she never will.. No amount of therapy will change what she already knows. If she had an option she would of already left. Like others have said, consider yourself lucky there is no children or property involved. Get out while your still young and enjoy life without misery. If your a smart guy you would learn a lot from this for next time. I've been married for 24 yrs there are times I want to wring her friggin neck but we never contemplated a split. Jus sayin..
For what its worth, a buddy of mine sent me this once...
With that said, try to make her laugh and be her best friend all over again. If that doesn't work RUN
Thanks ks for all the advice folks. Appreciate the input. Coffee, good read
Cg does have counseling. We've discussed going, we'll see what happens.
Too many hobbies, you're right for the most part. She has family down here, but she isn't very close to them. They haven't supported us from day one. I had a bunch of friends here before that I could do whatever with, but they all transferred out and fishing down here isn't nearly as enjoyable as up there..we were apart for a month recently for cg stuff and it made me realize what's important. And now I'm giving it my best to try to get back to what brought us together.
Kool aid. Congrats on the 20th
Been there done, that. It is a very rare that you guys can live under the same roof without more fighting and treating each other like shit.
Sounds like you want to work it out, that's good, but it also sounds like she has both feet out the door. If she is willing, to work this out, it will be obvious when she puts for the the effort. Just remember, no matter how bad either of you have fucked up in the past, you are trying to move forward. Most couples or people in general have problems of holding on to the past and continue to bring it up, that is no way to build a stronger foundation. Find some good counseling, he/she/they will break down your crumbling foundation and help rebuild it. Don't expect them to do it for you, both parties need to do the labor.
not sure how else to say this part but, if you/she wants to have sex, wear a fucking condom!!!!!! No need to get stuck with child support on top of all of this if she decides to run.
Haha yeah. I agree. She puts forth effort a decent about of time. It's weird. Really weird. She'll hold my hand, tell me she loves me, I'll wake up in the morning and she'll be laying on my chest. She'll still kiss me. But she says she needs space. She's starting school in a couple weeks for an officer program she got into, and I think that's adding another wrinkle, because it's a huge lifestyle change
If you both care about each other go seek professional help. If not let her keep the car and move on with your life. Good thing no kids.
Well Im no expert on anything in relationships other than being a stubborn asshole foremost, but after 17 years with my gal Im sure she would have left at some point or another if I let her. Whenever we have talked about splitting and staying in the same house til we get things figured out it was always a way for her to say Im really mad at you and you have to try really hard this time. Hasnt been the eorst thing in the world for her to remind me to be sweet to her like we just met from time to time. Fuck counseling it is meant to be or not. 17 years, no kids not married we wake up every day and choose to be with one another because we want to. Thats our story. I will say two of my good friends just went through difficult divorces with houses and kids involved and both say they couldnt be happier and wish they would have done it sooner. Thats their story you have to make your own choice.
One thing I always remember during times of negativity is something someone said once
And in the end the love you take is equal to the love..... YOU make.
Every day, you are writing another page in the story of your life. The question is, how do you want it to read? You better figure it out because as soon as the ink dries, it can't be changed.
Try going in to work tomorrow at the Coast Guard and tell them you have had enough of all their rules and lifestyle and won't be coming in ever again. Or, better yet, tell your boss to piss off! Smoke some weed, get a DUI...
You both play the game for a stranger, you can do it for each other.
Unless either of you are members in the domestic violence club or are criminals, you can work it out.
....to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow.
You are an NCO (I assume) and she plans to become an Officer. In your world, words have meaning. Not only will being loyal to your vows make you a stronger couple, but you will also become stronger leaders.
Sometimes, just as in anything else out there that is worth having, marriage can be work too. And the crazy thing about that is that once you get through all the heavy lifting that is typical of the earlier years of a marriage, it can actually be pretty darn good.
Both of you should take a long look down the road and ask yourselves how you want your story to read when you get there.
Odin, are you a motivational speaker? Hah. Good stuff. Thankd
Ever heard of a movie called "War of the Roses?" Better study up so you know what to avoid!
PM Tues, him and Saluki have been to hell and back, they're still together.
Do you really want to be asking marriage advice from this group? If so, what in the hell are you thinking?
Run as far and as fast as you can.
She wants this to be easy and comfortable for herself.
She wants things to happen on her terms.
It is over.
Understand why you chose her and don't make that mistake again.
Don't look back, life is not long enough.
All Great advice Chad.....Here is the ultimate question.....have either of you cheated on each other?? If that has happened (IMO) trust will never be fully restored. If you cannot trust someone you love, all is lost. One or the other can go through the motions and say "I forgive you, I trust you now", but there will always be a doubts and internal grief. Some may say if you truely love someone, you will forgive them no matter what.....well....good luck with that.
If trust is not an issue...and you do truely love her....then fight for her and don't give up. Figured out was has changed, and how to get "that" back. If you gave it your best and "Nada", move on..no kids, no house...it's pretty easy comparable to some others.
I'd say 75% of us have been in a similar or near situations...life is complicated...it sucks, but it's life man....oh, and if you know for a fact it is over..get the hell out, get the hell out, get the hell out. TRUST ME...if it's over get the hell out..pitch a tent in a local park, but make a clean break and NEVER look back. This could be playing out for the next 20 yrs....the same old stuff, but then you're really stuck with children, homes, etc. I almost got sucked in once...luckily I made the right choice, made a clean break, and happily married with a great wife and two great kids. This board has much wisdom and many years...sort through it and Good Luck
Be safe all, Swanny
Good advice as well. No one has cheated no. As far as I know. If I know it's over I won't stick around and waste my time. But I'm not sure if it's at that point yet.
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