flaming arrow

gatorfan

Chief
Dec 18, 2006
1,728
99
CV CA
Name
Jim
Boat
tube
Just had to share this:

Flaming Arrow

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass long bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows
in anything that could get stuck by an arrow.
Did you know that a 1955 40horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds
before it goes down?
Tough SOB.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was,
I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw
gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the
place.
Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't
any fire danger.
I'll put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you
had yourself a well.


One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten
oak stump in our backyard.
I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of
starting fluid (ether).
The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I
thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing
manner...
let's face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really
doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of dads
muzzleloader pyrodex.
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can
of black powder.
My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it
all sorta dumped out on me.
No biggie... 1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda
like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other
can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow.

I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly.
As I released I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow.
In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the
truck... OH CRAP he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10
minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.
My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his
eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom.
Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.
Oh. Hell. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.
I don't know if it was the actual compression wa ve that threw me back or
just reflex jerk back from 235 MF'n decibels of sound.
I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial
explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all
hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE DAMN DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was".
That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground blown
completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad
is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a
Vietnam flashback ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!!
CEASE FIRE GOLL DAMIT
CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway.
All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a
slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard.
There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and
the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.
I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear.
I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either...
not that it would really matter.
I don't remember much from this point on.
I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later.
I felt a sharp pain, blacked out,
woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the
idea.
I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me
some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.
Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did
anything about it.
I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his
muzzleloaders a week or so later.

And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the
blast or the beating. Or both.

I guess what I'm trying to is, get your kids into archery.

Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life
 
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gpomplin

I Post A Lot But I Can't Edit This
Oct 13, 2006
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Santee
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gary
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A BIG RUBBER DUCK
I was wondering what was causing that twitch you have in your giddy up....
 
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Marcus

"Oddjob"
May 21, 2004
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Carlsbad
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Marcus
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Tuna Jihad toilet cleaner/Intrepid
Funny shit.......
 
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widgeon

Ex-Hunter and gatherer
Jan 12, 2010
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Kurt's neighborhood
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Tony
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Tarpon 140
Great story! Brings back a lot of memories of my youth... all bad. J.K. Be sure to pass that one on to your kids, after they're grown up.
 
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Kurt

Mistadobalina
Jul 9, 2003
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Clairemont
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Kurt
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%%%%%
I really am surprised we all lived through times like that. I bet ya'all got some likely stories :D
 
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dbar

Mmmmmm Backstraps
Jun 26, 2004
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With your Mom
Name
Jim Perkins
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18' Center Console " D-Bar II "
LMAO
 
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the hook

Bluesman
Jul 8, 2003
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Skyline Hills
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Name
John
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21' Sea Pro the Hook
When we lived in Connecticut- 5th grade- I used to buy boxes of caps- you know, the rolls of perforated red paper with the gunpowder blisters for the cap guns.

Anyway, I would scrape the powder off the caps into a little tin cup and then use the powder to manufacture my own little firecrackers and bottle rockets. I had about three caps left on the last roll in the third box and had a respectable cup of powder when the friction from the knife sparked the cap I was scraping. I watched as the spark arced through the air and landed in the center of the cup. With an audible POOF, my labour was lost and I observed an indoor mushroom cloud. I was not allowed to play with caps for a while after that.
 
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invictus

AVD
May 26, 2006
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Orange County
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Jason
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Tiara 2000 Cuddy
I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.

Reminds me of the time i fixed the gas dryer belt squeek with a can of WD-40. Woke up next day at UCI!
 
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