Search results

  1. forktail

    Lost Wild River Tackle Bag

    forktail submitted a new listing: Lost Wild River Tackle Bag - Lost Wild River Tackle Bag Learn more about this listing...
  2. forktail

    August 25-27 2018 – 2.5 day trip on the Poseidon

    August 24-27 2018 2.5 day trip on the Poseidon out of Seaforth Landing Offshore tuna and pelagic weekend trip. Leave: Friday Aug 24 at 9:00pm Return: Monday Aug 27 at 6:00am Cost: $615. Trip, bunk and meals included. Several open spots available, PM if interested.
  3. forktail

    Torrey Pines with the kids 6/1/14

    Decided last minute to take the rugrats surf fishing for a little while. Fished Torrey Pines beach for about 2 hours for three perch, one came unbuttoned and the last one started swimming sideways at release, so we decided to invite her home for lunch.
  4. forktail

    TLD30II with Tib Frame, SKB Belt, Calcutta 730MRA, Spyder VS3 Paintball Gun

    I have a TLD30II with a Tiburon frame and handle. Its been one of my back up reels for several years now and has not seen any action since the conversion, I'm asking $250.00 or will consider a trade (specifics below) Other items that I have for sale or trade: SKB fighting belt $35.00 Original...
  5. forktail

    Daiwa Interline Rod 8'

    Daiwa Emblem Z interline 8' 2 piece rod (Scottish made Model EM-Z802MSi) med action roughly 10-15# line. $100.00
  6. forktail

    Shimano calcutta rod

    Shimano Calcutta 730MRA 7' 20-30# line Aftco Light Weight Rollers $140.00
  7. forktail

    Tib'd TLDs

    TLD 20 2 Speed w/ Tib frame conversion $225.00 TLD 30 2 Speed w/ Tib frame conversion & T Bar Lite $250.00 After the conversion both got delegated as back up reels, haven't seen much action outside of the reel bag for a couple of trips, very clean, have specta on them I just dont...
  8. forktail

    future boat crew

    damn it its been too damn long since i've wet a line but sure has been worth it. here are the two new additions to the family and future boat crew. note: no gear for sale....yet!
  9. forktail

    chicken vs porsche

    wonder if the fellas at KFC are implementing a faster delivery at the drive thru
  10. forktail

    Caption This! NSFW

    every time i look at it i burst out laughing LOL
  11. forktail

    cool t shirt

  12. forktail

    need a job?

    job requirements: really big balls!
  13. forktail

    who needs a freaking remote!

  14. forktail

    anyone try fishin in acapulco?

    gonna head that way for the weekend. want to try some offshore and some inshore fishing but i dont know jack about what works. wanna carry just the basic stuff to get it on without the wife catching wind of the full plan.
  15. forktail

    reel 4 ulua

    got it done and looks just beautifull. the problem is now that i cant seem to have a single reel that will fit it. any suggestions?
  16. forktail

    how not to hitchhike.

  17. forktail

    WTF for 7/1

    did he: loose something? expect to pull a rabbit? practicing for a gynecologist exam? giving her an enema? ...
  18. forktail

    I'm going pier Fishing

    shit, i want to go to the pier these guys fish. the local ones are all clad with ugly asian midgets killing sardines!
  19. forktail

    Sooo True!

  20. forktail

  21. forktail

    For Misuse

    not sure if you can read japanese but thought it fit the bill for your cheers LOL :eek: barf barf
  22. forktail

    ebay #2

    moral of the story, if you cheat, dont get caught.
  23. forktail


    anyone want to buy a mini skirt???
  24. forktail

    Offshore Pacific Voyager ST 2 dayer

    150 ish tuna in the mid 20ies and one bluefin in the 30ies for 22 people, slow pick at them, lots of metered schools with few biters, fish were biting the large dines only three fish that i know fell for artificials (other than the troll jigs) to purple chovy swimtails and my first popper...
  25. forktail

    Oil Change Instructions

    Oil Change Instructions For Women 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change. 2. Drink a cup of coffee. 3. 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money Spent Oil Change $20.00 Coffee...
  26. forktail

    The WTF of the day

    honestly, dont know what to make of this one.... especially since all are girls. damn brutus, should had stopped barking.
  27. forktail

    bin laden game
  28. forktail

    some kiddie books

    or maybe not!
  29. forktail

    'nother cool effect.

    try keeping focus on the cross hairs.
  30. forktail

    Cool Effect

    look around and pay atention to where the white lines intersect.
  31. forktail


  32. forktail

    the doctor.

    A doctor walks into a bank to deposit a check. He reaches into his coat and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to sign his name. Realizing his mistake he looks up at the clerk and says, “That’s great, just great. Some asshole has my pen!”
  33. forktail

    kittie cannon

    enjoy fellas.
  34. forktail

    The Crying Game...

    He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the lady of the evening, "How much?" Lady of the evening replies, "It starts at $500 for manual manipulation." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For manual manipulation! No manual manipulation is worth that kind of money!" The lady of the evening says...
  35. forktail

    Freaking Great Photos
  36. forktail

    All Terrain RC Toys

    Freaking cool little things.
  37. forktail


    A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the...
  38. forktail

    in case you dont know Jack Schitt

    The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep...
  39. forktail

    The Barber

    A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks...
  40. forktail

    Joke Of The Day

    shit! this little fucker had me laughin for a good while. all he needs is a B.M.F. tat on his chest. LOL
  41. forktail

    dinner after the bullfight

    A cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is...
  42. forktail

    Serious Police Dogs

    crap, the first one looked mean!
  43. forktail

    Wipeouts, crashes and falls
  44. forktail

    Officer Down...Sort of.

  45. forktail

    tiburon clamps

    anyone know where i could get a few of the nuts and screws for the tib clamps. called the factory for a couple of (3) nuts and at 18.00 plus shipping (ass still sore at this one) there has to be acheaper alternative....
  46. forktail

    my new baby

    hung it earlier in my office (fishing gear room really but the wife dont like the idea of the term)
  47. forktail

    The Confession

    A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sits there. Finally, the priest pounds the wall. The drunk yells back: "There ain't no use knockin’; there's no paper...
  48. forktail

    Tues WTF cant help but to think this damn thing is freaking gay!
  49. forktail

    Small Quiz
  50. forktail

    WTF Of The Day

    sure beats a subscription to martha stewart living...
  51. forktail

    Beast Pals

    some how i have my doubts LOL
  52. forktail

    Who wants a slice

    fresh homestyle goatsepie! barf
  53. forktail

    Nigerian Airport Terminal

  54. forktail

    Who says that girls cant mulitask?

  55. forktail

    Miss America

    Hint: look in the back LOL
  56. forktail

    a riddle.

    At the exact same time, there are two young men on opposite sides of the earth: one is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers; the other is getting a blow job from an 85 year old woman. They are both thinking the exact same thing. What are they both thinking...
  57. forktail

    got a chuckle aout of this one.

  58. forktail

    WTF of the day

    now the question is...would you take your kids there???
  59. forktail

    atta boy!!

  60. forktail


  61. forktail

    Inteligence Test

    In an insane asylum, three patients are up for release. The Doctor decides to give them an intelligence test. He turns to the first man and asks, "What is three times three?" "274," he replies. The Doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second...
  62. forktail


  63. forktail

    WTF o' the day

    Break time at Nikes factory Sri Lanka. all joking aside, sure hope the pics are fakes. chit's all FU
  64. forktail


    For the true fans....Bet you hadnt seen this move before?
  65. forktail

    go fetch boy!

  66. forktail

    Double date.

    Anyone Interested???
  67. forktail


  68. forktail

    New OTC Item

    If life gives you lemons.....Just pop Two.
  69. forktail

    Rough Landing

    notice he never lets go of the umbrella
  70. forktail

    For Kids???

    Quite an interesting figurine.
  71. forktail


    Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple...
  72. forktail

    Mikey & Minnie

    Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here in your divorce petition that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
  73. forktail

    Fairy Tale

    Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
  74. forktail

    at the market

    A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife...
  75. forktail


    One day, Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him if he had ever had sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "...
  76. forktail

    Some Rules

    1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2. If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret, girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two...
  77. forktail

    a date.

    A man goes to a disco and starts chatting up a very attractive-looking Chinese girl. After a night of cavorting, she asks him back to her place ‘for a coffee’. They get to her flat, and she tells him to help himself to a drink while she slips into something more comfortable. Just as...
  78. forktail

    the handycapped

    A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach. He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him. The first says to him, ‘Have you ever been hugged? ’ The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug. The second says to him, ‘Have...
  79. forktail

    the physical.

    An old man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along. Entering the examination room, the doctor says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample." The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife yells...
  80. forktail


    When the ancient Chinese would have sex with a goose, as a climax they used to pull off its head to feel its death contractions.
  81. forktail


    Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes? A: A Translator.
  82. forktail

    dumbass of the week
  83. forktail

    early richard simmons?
  84. forktail

    vacuum sales

    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum...
  85. forktail


    hows this for a stastatement. screw louis vuitton.
  86. forktail


  87. forktail


    howbout a nice hot sandwich with...
  88. forktail


    being cute dont mean that your shit dont stink!
  89. forktail

    Shit Happens

    Literally LOL, sure hope they had a shower near by.
  90. forktail

    Total eclipse

    thought this was a funny one, the guy at the drums sort of looks like animal (hint: the muppets) and the other guy at chourus looks like scott weiland while at rehab.
  91. forktail

    missing cock....(Rooster)

    The priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock went missing! The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning. During...
  92. forktail


  93. forktail


    A man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it...
  94. forktail

    Doggie Dating Service

    anone with a male full breed? the wife wants to give her hairball at least one shot at puppies before fixing her.
  95. forktail

    Redneck Medical Terms

    Artery - The study of paintings. Benign - What you be after you be eight. Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria. Barium - What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan - Searching for Kitty. Cauterize - Made eye contact with her. Colic - A sheep...
  96. forktail

    some wisdom

    Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places. Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Misers aren't much fun...
  97. forktail


    Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his! Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? A: Get out of my sun! Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning? A: Throw him a buoy! Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men...
  98. forktail

    The Walkman

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two...
  99. forktail

    bad night?

    :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
  100. forktail

    saturday at the nados

    went on friday to see off the ST / BD gang head out on their Easter yellow massacre, got there a lil late as they were almost done bording the boat. went down to chat with george and jim and on the way saw some of the boners that the last 3/4 dayer brough in, all i can say is DAAAAAM! them...
  101. forktail

    what would you do?

  102. forktail

    WTF of the day

    good parenting?
  103. forktail

    first Cans

    decided yesterday night to take a shot at canning some of the tuna i have in the freezer. ran off ot albertsons to get some jars (small ones as my p cooker is small) and misc items. only seven cans fitted in the cooker and went like this, (all albie loin) two with jalapeno strips and a...
  104. forktail

    WTF of the day

    you tell me.
  105. forktail

    cleaning services

  106. forktail


    pop one today :jo:
  107. forktail

    gotta love em brits!

    the shit that you can get at your local market. i might end up moving to the otta side o da pond.
  108. forktail

    any REM fans here?

    i thought this was interesting. Dear Yahoo!: What's the story behind R.E.M.'s song "What's the Frequency, Kenneth"? Dana Nashua, New Hampshire Dear Dana: CBS News anchor Dan Rather, renowned for his unusual expressions and sayings, has led a colorful life. However, one bizarre...
  109. forktail

    some very "wise" famous quotes

    Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink...
  110. forktail

    Why are married men heavier than single men?

    Answer... single men come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married men come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
  111. forktail

    some valentines humor

    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better...
  112. forktail


    if a person is driving a blue pick up and traveling down a busy road at 30 miles per hour for 22.5 minutes, then makes a right turn and speeds up to 45 miles per hour for 18 more minutes. find the sex and color of hair of driver.
  113. forktail

    park sign

    hhhhmmm! dont know what to make outta this one.
  114. forktail

    trip on this 2

    left center LOL!
  115. forktail

    for the peta guys.

    i just love this billboard.
  116. forktail

    mother nature

  117. forktail

    Trip on this.

    look at the bottom center of the pic, slightly to the right.....anynone we know?
  118. forktail

    search engine da chit :)
  119. forktail

    who wears the trousers?

    Jack was about to marry Jill when his father took him to one side... " When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my trousers," he said. "I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me...
  120. forktail


    Today we will be making Banana Love Cake Ingredients: 2 whole nuts, 1 large banana, 2 strong arms, 2 well shaped legs, 1 fur lined mixing bowl, 4 loving eyes. Mixing instructions: Look into eyes, part legs. Gently squeeze milk jugs. Continue until bowl is well greased. Add banana, top with...
  121. forktail

    honorary bloodydecker?

    Man peed way out of avalanche A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it. Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the...
  122. forktail

    the monkey and the joint

    A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a...
  123. forktail

    Liquor Test

    got up to boubon. 80 on beer 50 on wine and 95 on liquor. guess i have to go back to the pub and keep on training. as they say "the liver is evil and needs to be punished!"
  124. forktail

    Blonde Joke

    A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He find his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear the best dumb blonde joke ever?" The bar immediately falls deathly quiet. In a deep...
  125. forktail

    i know some here will want one
  126. forktail

    01/26/05 Humboldts wanted to die!

    left yesterday evening on the dolphin II to kill some squirts. ride was from 6-midnite. jason the skipper anounced on the pa that we were heading out to the 9 as the new seaforth was there (they left at 4) and were pulling a few. there was mention from a few of the DH of some 50 pounders...
  127. forktail

    King of the jungle

    A lion awoke one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a bull and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle...
  128. forktail

    fishing trip

    A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"...
  129. forktail

    before it starts...

    A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but gets him...
  130. forktail


    is it just me or this poor kid has some of his anatomy somewhat jumbled?
  131. forktail

    views on everyday life

    MAKING COFFEE: Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk. LAYING A CARPET: Laying a carpet is...
  132. forktail

    anyone up for some fresh venison?

    geez, still remember when you used to go out to the mountain with a rifle to bag some game. boy have times have changed. side note. this reminds me a lot of the accidental shooting in pulp fiction :)
  133. forktail

    the sponge

    Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks, "What's that Mommy?" A little embarrassed, she tells him that is is her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Some time later, Tommy...
  134. forktail

    how do you like your dumb ass

    medium rare or well done
  135. forktail

    My new hero

    SOFIA, Bulgaria (AP) - Incredulous doctors made five blood tests on a drunken man to confirm he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.914, far above the usual life-threatening range, police and doctors said Tuesday. The 67-year old man, whose name was not released, was hospitalized Dec...
  136. forktail

    does she swallow?

    Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean. Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father. Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship that killed my father! Let's swim...
  137. forktail

    the washing machine

    A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon. "Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked. "Shh!" said the bride, "all the neighbours will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. "In future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For...
  138. forktail

    WTF of the day

    see kids, this is what happens when yer on drugs. stay sober! wonder if anyone ever saw that kid again????
  139. forktail

    the monkey

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks...
  140. forktail

    for blacks beach

  141. forktail

    hand lotion

  142. forktail

    bit torrent info

    anyone here familiar with bit torrent that would care to share some light?
  143. forktail

    a mans brain

  144. forktail

    some holiday humor

  145. forktail

    caption this

  146. forktail

    watch where you stick it

  147. forktail

    cool snowmen

  148. forktail

    mc donalds humor

    What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese!
  149. forktail

    For a can of corn

    Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a new church in their neighborhood. The pastor said "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks to show will-power." The couples all...
  150. forktail

    The Prostitute

    A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. "Twenty Bux," she says. He's never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them - it's a policeman. "What's going on here...
  151. forktail

    how not to hold fireworks

    sorry to say considering the damage but this shit is funny as hell. t-10, houston, all systems go, rocket ready to launch, over.
  152. forktail

    sheep luvin'

  153. forktail

    premature ejaculators

  154. forktail

    bad news

  155. forktail

    skull kid

    a little macabre but a damn good way to kill some time use the arrow keys and the space bar to cut or shoot.
  156. forktail


    the wife suggested that we go somewhere for new years, somewhere new, i said catalina. she loooved the idea, now my problem is i dont know jack about cat island other than to have live squid for the WSB runs. anyone here has any light on the subject, how to get there, recomendations in where...
  157. forktail

    a dying man's request

    Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have...
  158. forktail

    new crime super fighter

  159. forktail

    another tucker story

    this fucker really cracks me up. Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue by Tucker Max I spent the summer between my 2nd and 3rd year of college suckling on the parental teat in South Florida. It was the absolute prime of my “do anything to get laid” phase. I was recently...
  160. forktail

    role playing???

    guess that at the begining of the date they watched alexander.
  161. forktail

    my hommies

    its just awild guess but i think this pic was taken a few seconds before the beating of his life.
  162. forktail

    differences in male / female vocabulary

    7 vocabulary differences between men and women 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...Any part under a car's hood. Male.....The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female...Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.....Playing football...
  163. forktail

    breathalizer story

    found this and thought it was funny as hell. almost deja vu. The Famous "Sushi Pants" story by Tucker Max I used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years. I was wrong. Red Bull has been usurped by the portable alcohol breathalyzer. The...
  164. forktail

    men vs women

    why men have shorter life spans than women...
  165. forktail

    custer's last stand?

  166. forktail

    you're so wet.

    note to moderators: if deemed too graphic for this board please move to appropiate section.
  167. forktail

    the clock shop

    A man goes into a repair shop to get his watch fixed. But when he sees that the girl running the store is extremely hot, he unzips his pants and lays his johnson on the counter. "Sir, what are you doing? This is a clock shop!" the shocked girl shouts. "I know", he replies. "I'd like to get...
  168. forktail

    yet another shit list

    Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has...
  169. forktail

    liquor store ad

    my kind of joint
  170. forktail

    want ad

  171. forktail

    86 rules to drink by.

    1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better...
  172. forktail

    dont do drugs, dont steal

  173. forktail

    The Weding Dress

    On the eve of his wedding night, a fresh-faced lad asks his mother: "Mum, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies: "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mum and then seeks his father opinion. "Dad, why are wedding dresses...
  174. forktail

    What the fuck 2

    wonder what you catch with this kind of bait???
  175. forktail

    bad day?

  176. forktail

    how to use the urinal

  177. forktail

    for the Star Wars fans

  178. forktail


    Q. HOW do you cancel your appointment at the sperm bank? A. Phone them and tell them you can't come.
  179. forktail

    Bloody Decker PFD

  180. forktail


  181. forktail

    Chicken Fucker!

  182. forktail

    Office Lingo 101

    BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb...
  183. forktail

    Microsoft Vs GM

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's...
  184. forktail


    1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. 2. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. 3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. 4...
  185. forktail

    In loving memory

  186. forktail


    Greatest hits. OUCH!
  187. forktail

    New Line of Rubbers

  188. forktail

    Construction Worker?

    wonder what osha has to say 'bout this
  189. forktail

    the cannibal

    Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A. Wipe his arse
  190. forktail

    interesting stat

    There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
  191. forktail

    what came first, the chicken or the egg

    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on his face. The egg, looking a bit annoyed, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
  192. forktail

    evel knivel's new stunt

    that or the dude had a major case of beer gogles. BTW got a feeling somebody had to call 911 afterwards :shake: :shake:
  193. forktail

    english 101
  194. forktail

    sore arm

    Man has a sore arm ...but when he rings the doctor to make an appointment, he cant be seen for two weeks. He tells his friend this and his friend says "Why dont you try the new medical analysis computer down at the chemists ...just take along a urine sample and five pounds" So the man...
  195. forktail

    who's doing the dishes?

    Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until, one day, he comes across a beautiful Honda Gold Wing with a for sale sign on it. The bike seems even more beautiful than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolutely mint condition. He immediately...
  196. forktail


    Two chickens standing at the side of the road. One is about to cross when the other stops him and says. "Don't, we'll never hear the end of it!"
  197. forktail

    yer hair smells nice...

    A MAN walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker...
  198. forktail

    mary kate in about 45 years

  199. forktail

    Political Bohemian Rhapsody
  200. forktail

    Murphy's Law Calculator this should be a handy little item. insead of investing your valuable time (which would be better used fishing) doing something you rather not. try this first to figgue out if the outcome will be satisfactory enough to...
  201. forktail

    Settings Window

    would this be for a new release of windows? windows FU perhaps?
  202. forktail

    important study

  203. forktail

    mind game.

  204. forktail

    chinese to go

  205. forktail

    john deere for rednecks.

  206. forktail

    chinese 101
  207. forktail

  208. forktail

    For Sale

  209. forktail

    mommas got her boob out

    redneck hit single...
  210. forktail

    Jaws (with bunnies)
  211. forktail

    the Redneck way

    redneck camper
  212. forktail

    for sand shark

    "Where's all the blood, gore, mutilation and general nastiness? Now stop it and get back to your normal posts. I need something to look at. " here ya go buddy. enjoy.
  213. forktail

    Alien (with Bunnies)
  214. forktail

    gay astronauts to prove uranus

    New York, NY Wednesday afternoon the gay space advocacy group Gay Astronauts Searching for Intelligent Extra-Terrestrials (GASIE) released a press statement calling for a mission to send an automated probe into Uranus. This announcement comes in an effort to renew the American drive for space...
  215. forktail

    I like this dude

    look at his monitor
  216. forktail

    is monica back at the office?

    wonder where that finger has been???? :jo:
  217. forktail

    Whats the difference

    What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58,68, and 78 ? At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to...
  218. forktail

    Bitchin' Photography
  219. forktail

    sing along. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
  220. forktail

    what in the hell...

    what in the hell drives people to do shit like this... damn!
  221. forktail

    crash cam.

    did learn suntin' bout this one. wear my seatbelt.
  222. forktail

    funny kickboxing bout

    pair of pansies.
  223. forktail

    remember the jackrabbit vid?

    here's what happens when you replace the rabbit with a deer and the race car with a street bike. the speed remains relatively constant.
  224. forktail

    darwin award winner!

    well not yet but i'm sure this dumb fuck takes the cake. warning. extremely graphic.
  225. forktail

    hhoooly shit, that un spider bite.

    crap, this shit certainly adjusted my views about spiders. :eek:
  226. forktail

    My hi-fi system

    i wish! is it just me or this system has fuck the neighbors all over it.
  227. forktail

    cheerleader vid

    for all the homos here. :FU:
  228. forktail


    A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and...
  229. forktail

    taliban boys
  230. forktail

    now that's skill.
  231. forktail

    understanding girlie lingo

    'FINE' This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. 'FIVE MINUTES' This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that...
  232. forktail


    odd (more like stupid) laws Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. Location: United States, California, Chico You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. Location: United States, California, Blythe It...
  233. forktail

    new sexual position

    The Bronco You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
  234. forktail


    A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. “What the hell do you think you are doing?” she says. One of the Japanese men replies: “We are all very hungry.” The waitress...
  235. forktail

    why did the chicken cross the road?

    SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication, we do not even have a chicken. GEORGE W BUSH We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is...
  236. forktail


    An old man was sitting on a bench at the local shopping center. A young man walked up and sat down next to him. He had spiked hair in different colors; green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared at him. The young man turned to him and said sarcastically, "What's the matter...
  237. forktail

    forget the vics

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire...
  238. forktail

    reflex tester

    best i've pulled is .34 seconds
  239. forktail

    feelin' lonely?

  240. forktail

    future x games competition??? guess these fellas back in the olde country cant afford skates or bikes....
  241. forktail

    skinny on ensenada charters

    got a bud in tj that got me all wired up on the idea of chartering a boat out of ensenada, only problem is i dont know jack 'bout the whole deal. any one have any info, pointers, what to watch for, what to bring.... thanx
  242. forktail

    i miss wrestling

    wasnt like this when i used to train she can kick my ass anyday of the week :spank:
  243. forktail

    how's this for hardcore surfin'
  244. forktail

    serious offroadin' check out the rock hopping vids.
  245. forktail

    Moonshine 101
  246. forktail

    howard johnson special.

  247. forktail

    how's this for a paint ball gun???

    anyone up for a match?
  248. forktail

    'nutter Game.
  249. forktail

    forensics 101

    An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. 'There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and...
  250. forktail

    centepede like game
  251. forktail

  252. forktail

    bad date
  253. forktail

    bang bang bang
  254. forktail

    dont fall asleep...
  255. forktail


    trying to steal second.
  256. forktail

    Espn... hell i give up, cant seem to be able to link the video directly, so just click on the multimedia thumbnail.
  257. forktail

    graphite usa + new sticks

    went on an informal tour of the plant with roy, mel and fidel and found out of a bunch new sticks that they are testing and prototyping. new united models, some other composites with glass mesh, e glass and a full line of glass rods. these fellas had me drooling over three future blanks in...
  258. forktail

    drunk game

    just jacked this from a friends post. looked at it and it seemed to be in the wrong board. you tell me.
  259. forktail

    camel toe song

    check this link out, if the video doesnt come out select it from the list at the left. should be the seventh or eight one down. ps turn the volume up to hear the viagra boys doing the soundtrack. :asshole: :asshole:
  260. forktail

    got the time? interesting approach...
  261. forktail

    yellowtail swag

    is there an eta on the new yellowtail bloodydecks stuff???
  262. forktail


    dunno if it has been posted before...
  263. forktail

    what the f!!!!

    just saw a van of the city of san diego roll by with two cameras on its roof pointing down towards the licence plate area of cars. like them freaking cameras on the intersections werent enough to screw us over?
  264. forktail

    spam with nuts!

    got this on email today...what the fuck! how stupid do they think people are..... could might as well ask for me to mail em my card too. a-holes. sad thing is more than likely there are a few numnuts that do comply. Dear_ Citibank_ _User_, This_ email was seent by_the_...
  265. forktail

    mr smiley surprise
  266. forktail

    urinal test
  267. forktail

  268. forktail

    moral of the story (bilingual)

    Yo estaba muy feliz. Mi novia y yo habíamos andado por mas de un año, y decidimos casarnos. Mis padres nos ayudaron en toda forma posible, mis amigos me apoyaban. Y mi novia era un sueño. Sólo había una cosa que me molestaba mucho, y era la mejor amiga de ella. Era inteligente y sexy, y a...
  269. forktail

  270. forktail

    mono touching the hypalon under load

    got a hevy rig that once loaded the line rubs against the hypalon. is this normal on heavy rigs or should i get the stripper rewrapped to aleviate this.:confused: